Alone
by Evan James
Summary: Song fic written for My Immortal by Evanescence. Five years post war, Harry Remembers.


**_A/N: Lyrics and music by Evanescence. The song My Immortal. Dreams can sometimes be confusing and heartrending this was one such dream I had, I hope that you liked it._**

**_Special thanks to suemonroe for the wonderful job betaing as always._**

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Alone**

The man, once known as the boy who lived, sat in the deserted great hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He sat in his normal place at what had once been the Gryffindor table. Although he was alone in the huge room, the ghosts of the past haunted him.

Looking to his right he saw a faded image of his best friend Ronald Weasley. He had grown to be well over six feet tall in his final year and had filled out spectacularly; he'd grown up after the events of their sixth year, accepting that the world wasn't the black and white of his youth. The image faded with a vibrant laugh from the specter.

To Harry's left was Hermione Granger. Who would have guessed that the once insufferable know-it-all would grow into an amazingly beautiful woman with a firm grasp on reality? She had finally learned that not every lesson had to come from books, too bad she didn't have the opportunity to put that knowledge to use.

Harry could hear the voice of Lavender Brown gossiping about something or another to her friend. The girl had not changed much, but her idea of fashion in her years at Hogwarts, she had never been one to care about the war further then would it interrupt her shopping schedule but she too had given her life.

Across from Harry sat the ghostly image of Neville Longbottom, still smiling shyly at Ginny Weasley and worrying about his upcoming class with Snape. The gentle boy had come into his own after the events in the Department of Mysteries; however Neville never made it to seventh year. He was taken in a raid in Hogsmeade that final weekend the students were allowed to go. His death was the hardest for Harry; Neville was always so strong, though the boy himself could never see it.

At the next table sat Susan Bones and Justin Finch-Fletchy, both were lost in a raid at the Ministry just a year after school. The two Hufflepuffs were no match for the ten Death Eaters that had swarmed their department late one evening in November. Their bodies were never found.

Luna Lovegood was paging through an upside down magazine, her wand tucked securely behind her ear. A vacant, far away look on her face as she spoke of creatures that only she would know about, pondering the effects that the weather changes would have on the migration of horn blasts snort bottoms.

A snort brought Harry's attention to the Slytherin table where Draco Malfoy was still holding court. He too had changed that final year. His voice no longer harsh and high pitched it had changed, wrapped in velvet and lowered to a silky tenor. His icy grey eyes still held the glint of deviousness, as if he was plotting his next move against the Golden Boy.

Flanking him, as always, was Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle. No one had changed as much as those two. The once rotund boys now appeared to be all muscle, two brick walls that would give everything for their leader. In the end they did just that.

Pansy Parkinson came into view as she draped herself over Draco. Her annoying voice had not changed and she still reminded Harry of Ripper, but he couldn't fault the girl's loyalty when it came to her silver prince.

_I'm so tired of being here  
suppressed by all of my childish fears  
and if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
because your presence still lingers here  
and it won't leave me alone _

Unable to take any more of these ghosts that haunted him relentlessly, Harry stood leaving them behind. Those he'd failed and those Harry believed he never really knew. He started the normal walk towards the dungeons. It was familiar and soothing in a way. Yet burdened and grief filled in another. Taunts and snide remarks echoed through the empty halls, intermingled with laughter and chants of Slytherin loosing the upcoming game to Harry Potter and the Gryffindor house team.

Entering the old Potion's classroom was like entering the past. Severus Snape sat at his desk sneering at the fumbling numbskulls he presided over for the year. Scowling and mocking the attempts of the other houses while showering praise on his own. Harry could not stand to see this ghost, so he quickly moved to the man's office where he encountered yet another ghost of his past. Sev, his friend and later his lover, sat lounging in his favorite chair by his fire, a stack of essays waiting for him to grade on his desk. An easy smile graced the thin lips Harry had come to love, the ghost looked up at him with eyes filled with love rather than the contempt he'd seen through his Hogwarts years.

Harry was once again driven away by the memories, he could only flee.

_these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase _

when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me

Harry's blind escape led him down the halls of the old school; he absently recognized the voice of Colin Creevy calling out to him before hearing the distinctive clicking sound he'd always had associated with the boy. Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas also called out their greetings as Harry ran past the entrance to the Tower.

Shaking his head, Harry ran on, tears running down his face. His legs finally gave out on him when he neared the Charms classroom. Although he knew what he would find within Harry could not stop him self from entering the once domain of the ever cheerful dwarf.

The room itself was still in ruins, the desks overturned or broken, and the books that had been used as a step stood burn and torn. Brownish stains marred the once white stone floor. And walking his normal path Professor Flitwick was still smiling and clapping his hands, bouncing excitedly as Blaise Zabini performed a complicated charm correctly. Both had died in this room protecting a group of first year students, Ravenclaws and Slytherins.

_you used to captivate me  
by your resonating light  
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me _

these wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase

Harry carried on his sojourn, wandering through the past as he always did. He saw flashes of his life here and there. He did not stay to watch them play out however. He had no desire to see a young Ginny Weasley throw herself into Harry's arms and kiss him that first time. Nor did he want to watch the last kiss between them at Albus Dumbledore's funeral the following year. He also didn't want to watch Ron making out with Lavender Brown in the common room. Or see Draco crying in the bathroom, and then bleeding after Harry used a spell he shouldn't have known, much less been able to cast. Hermione would be in the library he knew, reading book after book. While Ron sat next to her, trying to distract the witch in favor of other more pleasurable endeavors. Harry could only watch and mourn.

He wasn't sure how he had made it to the Astronomy Tower, but for the first time since that awful night at the end of his sixth year, that is where he found himself. Falling to his knees, Harry sobbed as the horrifying events of that night played out before him. Dumbledore dropping his wand, telling a frantic Draco Malfoy that he didn't have to become a murderer and Draco refusing over and over again, seeming to plead with the old man claiming he had no choice. Then Severus barging in and taking the brightest light in Harry's world away with just two words.

_when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me _

_  
_  
Harry flung himself to the parapet watching the old man as he fell. Then he looked out over the school grounds. The battle was fierce. He saw the remaining members of the Weasley family, his family; fall one after another to the Death Eaters that had stormed the castle. Remus Lupin going down under the onslaught of Greyback, his throat finally ripped out by the werewolf that had tried to claim him thirty years before. Minerva McGonagall lay slumped on the grand staircase that lead to the large oak doors, giving her life so that the students inside might remain safe. Nymphadora Tonks draped over her fallen comrade, trying to protect her one time Professor.

In the far distance, Harry saw the flames that had devoured Hagrid's small but comfortable house. And right outside of the hut, in the glow of those flames, where five silhouettes Harry knew they belonged to Voldemort, Severus, Ron, Hermione and himself. Not wanting to watch the last moments of his friends' life, Harry turned his back on them closing his eyes, his only defense against the searing pain of a broken heart.

He'd lost everything that day, nothing was left for him and Harry knew it. He was alone. He wanted nothing more then to join his loved ones in the next great adventure. Squaring his shoulders, in true Gryffindor fashion, Harry plunged over the edge of the tower. Plummeting toward the ground, finally feeling free for the first time in five years, Harry was shocked when his free fall was suddenly halted without pain. Opening his eyes, he looked into the deep onyx depths he'd missed the most. Smiling, Harry lay back down; snuggling further into those strong, gentle arms of the man he loved so much.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
and though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along  
_

_**Five Year anniversary: A day to remember.**_

_Today marks the fifth anniversary of the battle of Hogwarts. On that day, thirty-five courageous witches and wizards gave their lives so that the rest of could live in peace and freedom from the tyranny known as Voldemort. _

_This special article is written with those wonderful individuals in mind. While most of the wizarding world sat aside and waited for a young boy to save us, Harry Potter and his comrades were fighting for us. While we condemned their actions, they fought on uncaring if we liked them or not._

_On July 31, five years ago, thirty-five people gave their lives while we all hid in fear. So I wonder, do we really deserve what they paid for with their blood? I would like to think so, but I can be honest, at least with myself. No we do not. So think long and hard, my fellow witches and wizards, when you condemn those around you for being poor, not of pureblood, or being in Slytherin and not Gryffindor. Remember, that we all hid like cowards, whilst our heroes died._

_In memory of: Lily and James Potter, Sirius Black, Cedric Diggory, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Rubeus Hagrid, Minerva McGonagall, Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin, Filius Flitwick, Poppy Pomfrey, Neville Longbottom, Frank and Alice Longbottom, Alistair Moody, Lavender Brown, Padma Patil, Cho Chang, Ginny Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Bill Weasley, Fred and George Weasley, Arthur Weasley Molly Weasley, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchy, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley._

_We would also like to give heart felt thanks to Harry Potter, may he have the peace in the after life he never found with us. Over the course of his life Harry Potter gave our world unimaginable sacrifices... that night he gave the ultimate one, and it took all he had _


End file.
